It’s NEVER okay to criticize Kellyanne Conway

TRIGGER WARNING: Swear words, sexism, word-violence

It’s been three hours since the assault.

Three hours, and my head is still reeling.

Three hours, and I’m still not sure if I can get through, if it’s even worth trying, if the bros and their bro-let children will ever just listen.

Let’s step back a few days. My son, Craycen, requested permission to socialize with some new boys at school. Craycen is a very sweet and gentle child, and so I forbid him from socializing with any children until those children have been screened. These steps are necessary to ensure that Craycen does not pick up any disrespectful or close-minded beliefs.

I gave Craycen some pre-screening forms for the boys to fill out, and, no surprise, only one was completed before the due date. A child who’s too lazy to fill out a simple 50-item questionnaire is one who doesn’t need to be influencing my son!

But even then, I was concerned with the boy who completed his form. Under “Are men better than women?” he selected “It depends.” When asked his opinion of the new Ghostbusters movie, he rated it a B-. But he said he “Strongly Disapproved” of Trump, so I decided he deserved a personal screening.

He was to come to our house after school and enjoy some mozzarella sticks while answering a few simple questions about his aspirations and behavior. If he passed that round, the three of us would go bowling, and I would use the Donnerton’s Innovation Metric to judge his entrepreneurial potential. If he scored above a 60, he and Craycen would be free to “hang out” with one another on their own.

But we didn’t get the bowling alley. We didn’t even get to the mozzarella sticks. We just got assaulted.

The boy came in. He introduced himself. He said he was hungry. And then, literally less than a minute after entering my home, he pointed to a picture of Kellyanne Conway.

“I hate her,” he said.

“E-excuse me?”

“I hate that woman. I think she’s a b**ch.”

My heart sank. Craycen began to cry. I was blindsided, still reeling from his initial word-violence and unable to mount a proper response.

“W-we don’t speak of women in that tone,” I meekly interjected.

The boy continued. Warning: I present his text in raw, unedited form. As much I as hate swearing, I feel I should not soften the toxicity of the boy’s remarks:

“I hate her. I hope she dies. I hope an alt-left bro posts mean comments about her on Twitter and she decides “wow I guess I really do look like a meth-addled scarecrow” and then she takes 100 ibuprofens and dies. And when she dies she shits herself and it sits there all night. And then in the morning the cable man comes in and he sees her dead, shitty body lying there and he pulls off his pants and tries to fuck her, but he can’t because he pussy is too cold and dry, so he rubs some cold shit in it fucks her, and then he comes, and then he leaves without even fixing the cable but the cable company still bills her.”

The next few minutes are a blackout. My wife thinks I had a seizure, which sometimes happens to assault victims. The boy had been ejected from my home, but the pain lives on.

I found his father on social media. No surprise, he is an alt-left, Russia-loving, Bernie-kissing, worthless moron idiot bro. He has pictures of himself shaking hands with Toni Morrison, volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, and otherwise erasing and appropriating figures from all across the world. Disgusting.

Even more disgusting was his response to my messages:

“Lol good.”

smdh.

I have reported the bro and his child to the police. I said the man was assaulting his family; I did not describe the form of the assault, however, as police notoriously erase the effects of word-violence.

The man continued for a while. Like most others who seek to assault and erase powerful women, he claim he was just “criticizing” her because of her “bad and hateful” politics, and that the violence of criticism is somehow magically less severe than the violence of bad politics.

“Criticism.” It’s just “assault” by another name.

Basically, exactly what the Bernie Bros said when they were colluding with Russia to rape and murder Hillary.

Some people are not worth reasoning with. But what that bro needs to learn — what I hope he can learn in prison — is that it is NEVER okay to criticize a woman. Men’s voices do not matter.

It doesn’t matter if you “disagree” with the woman are think you are talking to her respectfully. It doesn’t matter of the woman said disparaging things against you that you feel are untrue. It doesn’t matter if you have “evidence” that supports you claims against the woman.

It. Doesn’t. Matter.

I may not like Kellyanne’s politics, but I think her presence in the Trump administration is a good thing. The more women, the more justice. But that doesn’t matter. My opinion doesn’t matter. By criticizing Conway, bro’s are committing literal assault. And that is much, much worse than anything Conway could ever to do them.